tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post2331945576299018550..comments2010-04-19T10:44:20.912-04:00Comments on Generation Yes: News & Spirituality for Unitarian Universalists Under 40: "Where the Boys (and Girls) Are" --- The Myth of the Missing Young AdultUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post-36582581700582482032010-02-01T16:01:19.267-05:002010-02-01T16:01:19.267-05:00I was very active in my church as a youth. I becam...I was very active in my church as a youth. I became less involved when I went to college because I went to school far away, and I wasn't interested in going to the church by my school. <br /><br />However, even now that I am back as a young adult, I feel as if most of the congregation still sees me as a youth. The transition has been interesting.<br /><br />Not only do I have a lot of growing to do as an individual, but I'm beginning to discover how much growing I need to do as a member of my congregation.Embernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post-76875681425439868062010-01-27T20:22:32.415-05:002010-01-27T20:22:32.415-05:00Thank you *so* much, Kat, for bringing up the visi...Thank you *so* much, Kat, for bringing up the visibility/invisibility issue. It deserves its own post and will have one, but in the meantime I will say that I think the problem is on both sides. <br /><br />In my personal experience, churches can be reluctant to integrate young adults into congregational life. Ten years ago, when I was a freshman in college, members of the UU church on campus---which, in its defense, was between both ministers and DREs at the time---told me and my friends that they could not assist us in starting (nor could they sponsor) a campus ministry group. They also said they thought seeing us at Sunday service was "strange." We stopped going. While I assume they had good reasons for turning us away, it was discouraging.<br /><br />Young adults, for their part, are much too likely to take no for an answer. (I did, at college, and I regret it.) They also tend to be under-educated when it comes to church governance and politics and are therefore at a disadvantage when it's time to get things done. <br /><br />As Kinsi pointed out, though, hard work and persistence DO pay off! It may take years, but if we put in some effort (okay, a LOT of effort) and employ some of the strategies Anonymous mentioned, we'll eventually get the respect we crave.jennytuckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15607444531521011591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post-23897206816067877302010-01-27T16:50:44.143-05:002010-01-27T16:50:44.143-05:00I am relatively active in my local congregation .....I am relatively active in my local congregation ...I used to be more so but life has brought me to a point that church can not be the focus that it was before. Life happens and we go through periods where we have more or less time to devote to any one thing, including church. It could be a move, new or more family obligations, work, personal things...anything. Because young adults are more likely to be in transition, they are also more likely than other members of the congregation to remain in the background and limit their involvement. However, this does not mean that they should not be taken seriously. I agree with Kate-if a young adult is looking to take on leadership roles within the church, they should be considered. Young adults have a lot to offer NOW, not just in 30 years. And if you don't nurture that desire and passion, they are not likely to BE there in 30 years...they will have found a congregation that wants and values their leadership.Audranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post-2842320563667186082010-01-27T16:33:51.232-05:002010-01-27T16:33:51.232-05:00I'm extremely active, and luckily we have a gi...I'm extremely active, and luckily we have a gigantic young adult group (380 on our yahoo group email list as of today) but it took a long time for the greater congregation to acknowledge that we were there and valuable. It took a direct lobbying campaign, but we got one of our members on the search committee for a new minister. I sat on two different stewardship committees. We have folks on the Nominating committee and even have had one or two on the Church Board. Heck, one of the founders of our 20/30s group was hiring and is on staff now as Welcoming Ministry Coordinator.<br /><br />But it took a lot of work. We were only asked to help move chairs, nothing ever substantial until about 3 years ago when we put in the effort to get that congregational recognition.<br /><br />I'm only 27, but I'm not as active in our 20s/30s group as I once was. Right now I'm mostly focused on the youth side of things, being a lead youth group advisor, etc.<br /><br />-kat- I totally know what you mean. It's the pat on the head syndrome in action. We'll pat you on the head for showing up, but now it's time to let the adults work. It's changed at our congregation, but it took time and us saying, "Hey, what about us." It started with me on being on the stewardship committee after talking with the Board President about the lack of 20s/30s respect.<br /><br />For a while, during the transition time between senior ministers, we had an open email forum, and that's where we really started letting our feelings known to the greater congregation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post-1744265265607364102010-01-27T16:12:50.758-05:002010-01-27T16:12:50.758-05:00Here's one suggestion - go to annual meeting o...Here's one suggestion - go to annual meeting or governing board meetings with some kind of proposal, get some money and get loud. I don't think that most churches have many young adults on their governing board. It's probably a time commitment for young adults and parents, but until they are "present" at these power meetings, they will stay invisible.<br />Another way to increase visibility is to do a special project for your church at your church. Use your creativity here. It could be a human rights project that is visible at church for several weeks (like the painted tents sent to Darfur) or that has a lasting presence (paint a wall mural? Establish a veggie garden with produce going to food pantries?). <br />And too many young adults end up in the RE program which is so great, but then they are seldom seen "upstairs." Joining the "adults" on other committees is a way to be seen and to obtain support.<br />Just my thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4933657345140990360.post-40332752538583205222010-01-27T12:01:00.166-05:002010-01-27T12:01:00.166-05:00I'm just speaking personally but okay- so the ...I'm just speaking personally but okay- so the thing I find a little frustrating is that no matter HOW present I am (committees, RE, in services, volunteering) I don't feel acknowledged as a key decision maker. I feel that my voice on "the bigger picture" ie: the future of the church, is completely overlooked. The "elders" seem to me to have the attitude of "oh, this is the grown up part of church... you're not quite there yet" when in fact they need to be taking into consideration that we "little kids" will be the inheritants of the governing board. Don't shut us out, a congregation that we are invested in should hear OUR concerns too... we are after all, their future decision makers. I (again, personally) get totally turned off by the lack of interest that the elder congregation shows in the young adult population. It makes me not want to get involved, it makes me frustrated, it makes me feel powerless. This all sounds so harsh and angry- but sometimes I want to stand up at Finance meetings or Governing Board meetings and say "hey! don't forget about us!"<br /><br />Does anyone else feel that? Does anyone else feel that this is not the case in teh congregation where they are? If you don't feel like this I would love to hear HOW your congregation supports you and what THEY do to include you and honor your presence...~Kat~https://www.blogger.com/profile/13910327288366042238noreply@blogger.com